Nobody Bothers Me

Look at the little jewel I dug up. Its a comic redo on a commercial that my old Head Master made waaaaay back in the day when he first came to the states. Snicker...

TYJ

You know how it is when your praying for something, and praying for something, and it finally comes through? You just feel so damn happy and your faith gets strengthened in such an awesome way.

Today is just one of those days.

My future team finally found its house!!!

Oh Happy Day

Hallelujah!! Allah Ahkbar and all other general happy things!

Michael Jackson is DEAD!

Impromptu

And its times like these I wish I was there.
To protect you from clothes
Lying in the corner
that look like monsters at night.

To whisper in your ear
that I'm not going anywhere
and everything's going to be o.k.


I love you Doll... don't be sad. I'll be there soon.

Thought of the Week

If life could be defined, I would describe it partly as a colon(:) and a period(.). Its full of shit, and sometimes you bleed. But just as those are only parts of the body, and not the whole of the matter, those things are just a part of life, and not all of it.

Whistle

You know what? Jiminey Cricket is a liar and a thief!! He told me that I should let my conscience be my guide and all that's ended up with me doing is dukeing it out with a pair of fat Caribbean whores over rights to the use of their street. Well I won...wild night actually... but you should come on down sometime on Tuesday and Friday nights, I do a mean hour and a half of busking! (God that's like, so a must-see these days!!) Heheheh...

Ummm yes... there was something I was going to say... oh right! Updates!! See I knew that there was something I forgot but damn I'm just like sooo good at all this remembering jazz and things.:D

So whats been up since I last left you? Well my birthday came, and passed, and 20's a big number YEY! Got to share my birthday with the wonderful occasion of a child being excavated from my friends womb... pretty rockin actually. Cutest little thing that you'll ever see this side of the Mississippi. Started working on the Duke of Whores a bit more and finished writing another short story... don't have a title for it yet, but its some random Fairy Tale thing... personally, I blame Wilde, but that's another matter all on its own.

I want to meet Edward Cullen so I can murder him... vegetarian vampire... PAH! More like gay. All of you ladies that have fallen for him: YOU HAVE BEEN DECIEVED.

But yes... so have Obama fans for that matter too.

Adieu

Bright New Shores

My birthday will be coming up in a few weeks and, to be honest, I'm heading towards it with mixed feelings. Not that it is a bad thing being a year older and all, rather its that this last year has been a strange one for me, filled with things I would never have expected. Its a custom of mine around this time of year to look back at all the things I've done, the things that the Lord's changed me in, and see whats different in me from the year before and what is not. Now that I'm nearing the end of 19 though, I wonder though if I've made any progress in the least. In some ways I'm quite the same as I was a year ago, in others I think I've lost ground instead of gained.

But this year I'm through with looking back on the things that I've done, or haven't done. I've tried the whole retro-introspection thing long enough to know that it sucks ass really. This year I will be different and look forward in anticipation of 20 and all that it will mean for me. Sure there are things that everyone wants like a beach-house, loads of cash, or a Lamborghini. But that's not what I'm really talking about. What I'm talking about is what I want to do with life, and what I want life to mean for me.

Its a strange thing: how trying to take too much on oneself and do it "right" can make you too cautious to try anything. If my 17 year old self would see the way that I act and think now sometimes, he'd give me a royal ass-whooping. I wouldn't blame him in the least. This next year though I want to try less and do more; to stop guarding what little I have and instead risk it for the venture of getting more from it. I've tried to be satisfied and happy with what I have already and it has sickened me. This next year I want to reach for more than I can grab, dream bigger dreams then I could dream, and make so many mistakes in reaching my goals that it will be astounding. The more mistakes I make in life, the wiser I will be. Only fools hold back for fear of failing.

I'm going to climb a mountain sometime this year: a real one this time with thin air and clouds at the top, and not some little gorge peak. I'm going to learn to jump higher, to run faster, and finally work up the guts to learn how to monkey vault properly. Since being nineteen I've written too many laments about writers, the writing craft, and how my creativity is drying up. This year I'm going to learn to write for myself, go at my own pace, and to stop giving a fuck if people like my works or not. I'll finally begin the groundwork on my thesis on Experimental Linguistic Theory. I'm going to learn to dance properly and get the six-pack that I always wanted to have. I'll learn to speak another language--and not just a few words, but fluently. I'll go to watch a play, instead of just renting the movie. I'll leave Canada (I've been here too long already) and finally travel to places I've dreamed someday of seeing. I'll read fewer books for the purpose of expanding my mind, and instead read them because they make me happy.

I'm going to stop being lethargic in my spiritual life and become the man that God wants me to be. I've held back for far too long for fear of what others might think of me, or how it would effect my life. I've spent too long thinking about how things work, or why they work, to realize that it doesn't matter why they do--they just do. The world keeps spinning, the sun keeps shining, life is an experience to be enjoyed, not endured. I've endured for far too long, now I intend to begin enjoying. I'm going to learn to love and be loved as if I have never been hurt by it. I'll search for beauty in my work instead of perfection. I'll stop taking my life so seriously and instead join those who are laughing. They seem happy about something--so why not me? I'll let go of the past that has held me back for so long and finally write those letters to certain people: asking forgiveness, and forgiving. I'm going to spend less time talking about change and more actually changing.

But more than all this I will not let a single day go by, not even take a single breath, without knowing that I'm alive, that I only have today to live, and that I have nothing at all to lose in any way. Jesus loves me and wants me to be happy. Where the spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

Naively optimistic? Perhaps it is. But I'd rather die young in the flames of a life well lived than to float down through life slowly, always wondering what could have been and never attaining a thing. Therefore, to newer shores yet unexplored I turn my thoughts, and from the day I turn 20 onwards I will never look back, and never ever regret a thing.